Saturday, May 27, 2006

Oysters; orgasmic obsession...

[Edited: most links changed since publishing] "...they may change sex one or more times during their life span. The gonads, organs responsible for producing both eggs and sperm, surround the digestive organs and are made up of sex cells, branching tubules and connective tissue...", of course - Oysters!

"The oyster's a confusing suitor
It's masc., and fem., and even neuter.
But whether husband, pal or wife
It leads a painless sort of life.
I'd like to be an oyster, say,
In August, June, July or May"

There's a good site from Ilene Polansky, owner of Maestro S.V.P., Seafood Bistro and Oyster Bar, Montreal, Quebec; the site provided the interesting description above the poem, much more here. [not .much more; anymore; just the link is only to the restaurant]  Oysters are not only delicious, (OK,OK!...like Marmite...love or hate?) but they're also one of the most nutritionally well balanced of foods, containing protein, carbohydrates, lipids and many vitamins and minerals. Although they are seen as an expensive food for the rich they have a long history of being consumed by hoi polloi. Interestingly - and not widely known - are the oyster beds within the UK; the town of Whitstable in Kent is noted for oyster farming from beds on the Kentish Flats that have been used since Roman times. In the early nineteenth century, oysters were very cheap and were mainly eaten by the working classes - disease, pollution and hence non-availability were the reasons for the change in 'clientele'. For centuries, men have believed that oysters and other shellfish are natural aphrodisiacs. But, until now, there has been little, if any, scientific evidence to support that claim. A new study, however, shows that oysters, clams, mussels and scallops all have chemical compounds that release sex hormones such as testosterone and oestrogen. HOORAY! 

[...Span's pervy O sidetrack: talking of hormones, oxytocin. This differs from natural sex steroid hormones, testosterone etc, that are generally synthesized from cholesterol in the gonads and adrenal glands: oxytocin is a peptide (chain of amino-acids) and is released during orgasm by both sexes...guess which one this link concentrates on... ]

Back to the research..."The findings are certainly interesting, but we still have a way to go before saying that there is scientific evidence that clams, oysters and scallops boost libido," he said....BOOO! Only last year Anahad O'Connor, New York Times, May. 24, 2005, wrote:
"…after all these centuries, the science behind the claim remains murky. Oysters are high in zinc, and a number of studies over the years have linked zinc deficiencies to impotence and delayed sexual development. But no major study has examined whether eating an oyster has any direct impact on arousal." But Samantha Heller, a nutritionist at New York University Medical Center, said the oyster effect might be mostly psychological. "If you tell someone that something is an aphrodisiac," she said, "a lot of times they'll get aroused just thinking about it."…yep, I agree entirely Sam, but how can I avoid the embarrassment in public places?

Finally... best recipes...there are too many to mention although no dressing (steady!) or just a squeeze of juice (I said STEADY - you've been reading the oxytocin and juices link haven't you!) do it for me...there's the famous Oysters Rockefeller from New Orleans (also in the picture) or 'Old' Orleans, Ontario's Oregano Oysters....a veritable 'O' fest! S.O. 

P.S. Gavin...the Odour post is 'in progress' but I keep getting side-tracked - as you can see! 

P.P.S. There is a sex toy called The Oyster...apparently. I am not going to add the link, what do you think I am! DON'T answer that! ;-)

31 comments:

Span Ows said...

Hi Sarnia - rant away, feel free! You actually ranted whilst I was editing the post! We came together..ahem...

That is bloody annoying but i suspect teh naigationa nd landing upgrade would caost a damn sight more than a wee terminal and not 'look good' for the politicians! PAH! Sounds a real pain...or A REAL PAIN if you'r edue to fly off to hospital!!!

Hope the fog clears...if not there's always that dingy :-)

Span Ows said...

Oh yes...forgot to mention our mollusc friends! I love them too and lemon was indeed the juice I really ahd in mind (whistle)...in Ecuador there is a black clam, a small shellfich (not a mussel) and it looks digusting but with a chopped onion sauce (á la shallot tuya) or a chilli version (hmmmm) they're delicious, not so nice sauceless though.

Linda Mason said...

Sorry Span and Sarnia but oysters are snot globules in a shell. They look like snot, smell like salty snot, have the consistency of snot and taste like snot. Yuk! Tried 'em twice, so I gave it a fair go, but snot is the only thing I can think of when oysters are mentioned.

Sorry to hear about your problems getting off the septic tank Sarnia. Buy a wet suit and swim! Buy a dinghy and row! Buy a yacht and sail! Go by ferry with the plebs!

I bet she has a right pop at me now!

Linda Mason said...

"they just slip down easily... "

Illustartes my point perfectly....sniff and swallow....just like SNOT!

Sorry about the ferry.

Always the wet suit I suppose!

Crikey can't Mr Sarnia (he of the tres tres sexy sexy voice - slaps self- too much vino - he of the deep voice) afford a yacht? He sounds rich!

Span Ows said...

I'm sure he's very sexy and rich Mags...I bet he needs to be!

Firstly congratulations on making me feel queasy - but it was a wonderful description you gave us re sn...sno..., nope I can't say it! Just to make you feel queasy I once had a dozen IN A GLASS as a drink, with gin and some spicy sauce, this was on a beach in Venezuela but the thing I remeber most was the lobster...that was me, red skin that I changed a few days later - that was the day I really learnt what the sun can do!

P.S. I've just read my first reply...it's a miracle you could both understand it!...I mean just how the f**K did I manaage "teh naigationa nd" but then made up for it with "á la shallot tuya" - French, English and Spanish combined!

Lucy said...

Good morning Span...

Lucy said...

Just read your link medical need for orgasms- very good, although it must be by an ardant feminist judging the 'all men are rapists' statement?! Other than that it was quite informative.
Only 40% of men enyoy going down on women eh. Oh well send them all to acting school I say!

Span Ows said...

Hello Lucy! How gould I have missed you by so little! Iwent to check my stats (ahem) and didn't see you'd posted until now.

Yes, there was some good info there...I have posted re most of it (except those SPOUTS of juice jeez!) ;-)

The Great Gildersleeve said...

Well, I heard a documentary about the singer Donovan(Remember the song Mellow Yellow)and a reference to an electrical banana? I think you can guess the rest and its connertation...Don't think I can think of that song the same way ever again...

Gavin Corder said...

Your 'in progress' post and my 'in progress' novel sound similar! Get on with it Span , there's a wealth of great info in that book. I lent it to you half a year ago (you should have finished colouring it in by now)...and as I recall you nearly got yourself incarcerated for returning to your plane to retrieve the damn thing in Iran, last time you were there. Still that will have been a valuable lesson take a little light reading rather than someone else's loaned possession with you on long journeys to dodgy nations.

PS I agree with Mags, why do yoiu think spat gobbets of hoiked phlegm on the road are called 'pavement oysters'? Now your John West tinned smoked oyster is food of the gods....

Gavin Corder said...

By the way, oxytocin is the hormone used to induce labour, that's why a good shag is a clever way to bring on the birth, as required, naturally. Fortunately it's only likely to be successful if the cervix is 'ripe'. Just as well otherwise the old conjugals would be off the menu for the full 40 weeks!

Just thought I'd share that with you...

Span Ows said...

Glad you got away Sarnia and enjoyed the time with your lad on the mainland.

Gavin mentioned tinned, smoked oysters...never tried them but do have a strange liking for tinned sardines in tomato sauce and tinned tuna in virgin olive oil...those and baked beans are the only things I'll eat out of a tin but a like them SOOOOOOO much! The only other tin they may, on occasion, enter the span larder in condensed milk.

re oyxtocin, Gav, I'm sure it says all that in the link although I'm not sure it mentions a shag.

Anonymous said...

Never heard of smoked oysters? What are you people like?

Actually my local Tesco has de-listed them. Evidently insufficient quantities of my neighbours appreciate the gorgeosity of said delicacy.

My mother used to use them for "Devils on Horseback" or have them as Whore's Douvers on a philedelphia topped Ritz biscuit. I had to hand them round from the age at which I could hold a plate straight and thus developed a taste for the things.

But don't mess with the cheese and cracker. This bastards are best sucked down neat, out of the tin, on your back in the bath, so that the dripping oily juice staineth not....

Oh I may be approaching Owsian levels of enjyment....

PS Sarns, Mrs C reconditioned the children when No 1 Son was little, first invite to play and supper, engages the hostess in conversation.

"Mmmn these are nice, what are they?" says child.

"Fishfingers says mama".

We now eat rubbish. On purpose obviously.

Gavin Corder said...

Oh blimey, why am I anonymous? I'm not it's MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Span Ows said...

Oh the surprise...you devil you, nobody knew it was you Gavin...NOT! ;-)

"gorgeosity"...yes, very good! What is a 'devil on horseback' btw?...

Sarnia we are a pair in the 'tin' stakes...

Ex Mrs.O is a very good cook and resolutely insisted on pasta and rice and meat and vegetables and all sorts of goodies from the rather than the fish-finger/frozen pizza brigade - except for baked beans :-)...unfortunately this had the effect of being a magnet for friends' children' being around to 'play'...ne'er an empty house!

Anonymous said...

oysters ...hate ..much prefer mussels.
Smoked Oysters in a tin ...there was me thinking you had to eat them alive...
Devils on horseback ... are prunes ...angels on horseback are oysters..... I'm sure.
As to an aphrodisiac...I'll stick to chocolate ..

And just a thought.....are you the walrus or the carpenter? ... "they'd eaten every one."

Span Ows said...

Welcome back missbonnielass...in Barcelona we have mussels galore and I like them too...

You don't have to eat oysters alive but that's the best "classic" way...however I think in Angels on horseback they are cooked/marinated etc anyway...

"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead."
Woody Allen

Chocolate...hmmmmmmm....this may give you a clue as to whether I'm the Walrus or the carpenter - no contest!

Crispin Heath said...

Oysters are God's food. Best I've had (and that goes for most fish and shellfish to tell you the truth) was in New Zealand, they grow em big down there but with no less taste. Good Green Lip mussels as well mmmmmmmmmm.

I will avoid any sort of metaphor for sex or orgasms as they seem to have all been used up in the first 23 responses.

Span Ows said...

Hello Six, actually most of those responses mention snot - it's Sarnia, you and I against Mags gav and missbonnielass...we can take 'em!!

Of course not forgetting Lucy who was more interested in orgasms and men going down etc...I mean, REALLY!
(she's away on the piste, otherwise I wouldn't dare say that...)

Linda Mason said...

Well Sarnia, as someone who would never allow a tin of ham into her house even as a perverse christmas present for a child (surely social services should be called) I think you are a fine one to call me a philistine!

Getting back to inducing labour (which seems appropriate on a thread about snotty oysters - did you ever examine the placenta?) when I was pregnant with my youngest baby, my midwife (yes personal and on the NHS) showed Mr Mags how to do a cervical sweep. It worked or possibly the gallons of rosemary leaf tea (urgh) or the castor oil (even bigger urgh) or the spicy curry (yum) or the mad rampant sex that we indulged in at every opportunity....who knows?

Crispin Heath said...

Did you get involved in Perenial massage Mags?

Linda Mason said...

Yes, did that Six. Brilliant. Olive oil was the preferred oil. I did end up having a few stitches because of a tear but then you should have seen the size of her....9lb 12oz and me only 5'2" or 3" on a good day!

I take it that it worked for you too?! Creative visualisation? That worked for me with the pain thingy. Didn't need anything because everything was so wonderfully positive, that's not to say I didn't want it pain relief towards the end though. Not like my son .....don't get me started on the 48 hours of hell followed by an emergency caesarian!

Span Ows said...

Is perennial massage when you are massaged on a regular basis? - I get that!..Ok...maybe not...olive oil is VERY good for the skin.

All this hot curry inducement sounds good too!

Poor Betty had to have 4 caesarians (4 children) They say you can't have more than 3 but I guess that's just as a warning as she is living proof. 2 in San Fernando de Apure,Venezuela and 2 in Hillingdon. Our 1st was our biggest Mags...and smaller than your girl! Jack was 9lbs 8ozs and measured a whopping 60cm. Betty had a heart op after number 3 (that was why she needed the cuts, they didn't want to stress the heart too much) and then on number 4, little Katie, there were many complications and the doc's didn't want to stress mum or baby...

Crispin Heath said...

Lol Span.

Mags, No stitching required with Nic luckily, nor pain killers. Although she did say if she'd been in hospital and they'd offered her an epidural she'd have caved no questions asked. Having said that though she was probably too far gone to have had it.

Mine were pretty average 7lb 6 for Ebs and 7lb 5 1/2 for Louis. Eben though was a streak, measured in at 62cm. No idea where his height comes from he still looks tall for his age.

Come to think of it our milkman's a big man.

Span Ows said...

Sarnia...I hasten to add that she had a heart problem BEFORE!!! It wasn't BECAUSE of the babies - actually it was a rare murmur and the cardiologist used to invite her once a year to an exam for trainee cardiobods to see if they could detect and diagnose the problem.

My nephew is a Frederick Louis...the only French Connection there is that they have a gite (spelling?) in Northern France but the Frederick (they won't call him Fred - I say they should becuase Freddo [Fred O] is a chocolate bar!) is a bit Germanic!...I shall have to have word!

Lucy said...

I'm the only one interested in orgasms you say Span (yikes)
Freud would have a field day!
I'm afraid it was a little to warm to hit the pieste last week Span, and only just warm enough for the pool :(

Span Ows said...

No, no Lucy...read what i wrote..
;-)

the other mentioned oysters/snot etc whereas you concentrated on the orgasm bit...I didn't say we weren't interested! God Forbid!

:-)

Anonymous said...

I was very lucky, I had my first in an RAF hospital 29 years ago, and had an epidural, Fairly unusual then .
The second was in the Norfolk and Norwich, very quick, only gas and air, so I think I got off lightly compared to some poor souls.

Span Ows said...

???Now this is wierd...I replied to this post saying that it was OK that you had your first oyster in an RAF hosp but that having an epidural for it was being a bit dramatic... :-)...but where's it gone...how wierd!

Anonymous said...

Ha ha Span, very funny, it was a baby, not an oyster, as you well know.
I had an epidural, as I'd been in there for 11 days before she was born. They thought she'd got a heart defect, OH was 300 miles away (he didn't make it for the birth ), and I'd got myself worked up into a state.

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