Oldie outhouse ode...

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Had a couple of weeks break, recuperating. Now one of those occasional e-mails we all get sent that I enjoyed despite it's US bent (as usual all images link to more info...shit subject though).



The service station trade was slow

The owner sat around,

With sharpened knife and cedar stick

Piled shavings on the ground.

No modern facilities had they,

The log across the rill

Led to a shack, marked His and Hers

That sat against the hill.



"Where is the ladies restroom, sir?"

The owner leaning back,

Said not a word but whittled on,

And nodded toward the shack.

With quickened step she entered there

But only stayed a minute,

Until she screamed, just like a snake

Or spider might be in it.



With startled look and beet red face

She bounded through the door,

And headed quickly for the car

Just like three gals before.



She missed the foot log - jumped the stream

The owner gave a shout,

As her silk stockings, down at her knees

Caught on a sassafras sprout.



She tripped and fell - got up, and then

In obvious disgust,

Ran to the car, stepped on the gas,

And faded in the dust.



Of course we all desired to know

What made the gals all do

The things they did, and then we found

The whittling owner knew.



A speaking system he'd devised

To make the thing complete,

He tied a speaker on the wall

Beneath the toilet seat.

He'd wait until the gals got set

And then the devilish tike,

Would stop his whittling long enough,

To speak into the mike.



And as she sat, a voice below

Struck terror, fright and fear,

"Will you please use the other hole,

We're painting under here!"